hell & back

In the dark book you keep, where your mysteries unfold in your sleep

Tell me, what is it you dream of? 

Isn't it curious how I still want to understand you,

When you buried your knives into my back?

I've told you once, I'll tell you again

I can handle the pain because darling, I've already been to hell and back

weaklings.

I'm only interested in being strong, you see

So keep the weaklings away from me

No damsel in distress, I've learned to save myself

Because no one else can tame my soul

and I'll be damned if they try

I'm not looking for validation

& there's no beauty in your hesitation

so I blaze my own trail & contentedly

if you want a princess, babe, that's not me

Including me.

*Not written by me, but too beautiful not to share.

Muse.

Smoke screens and filters here

Trapped in a mirrored box

Am I here? Or over there?

Maybe I enjoy the delusion

The perpetual confusion

This deathless torture,

Oh my God, I need to breathe

I'm suffocating, failing,

I need to leave

Eloquent spider webs of words

the way you weave them, so silvery

you're artistic but I'm hesitant to believe

I'm just a tiny dancer inside your jewelry box

Wind me up, move me to the music you make

Don't push me too hard, I may bend, I'll break

Be gentle with the muse you didn't create

3rd eye kiss

give me a 3rd eye kiss

unlock the power within

when there's no one who has your back

you had me, but you couldn't handle that

I'll take loneliness over bullshit

and I run from the chaos

I worried I offended you

but with my forehead on the ground

I released the tension I had with you

because life rotates in circles

and I'm not scared

I know what's meant for me

will find a way to be there.

over.

I'll get over my loneliness

but you'll never get over your ego.

unrequited love.

I've grown used to yearning for you

for as little as a message from your lips

because your touch dissipated too soon

you weren't really invested in my wishes

memories come, between every other thought

how long will I feel like you're the one I want?

I don't want to need you anymore

your eyes say so much, but your lips never move

is this all just a made up fantasy?

am I so very foolish for believing in you?

to think if I were prettier that I could be your lady

brushing your hair away from your eyes

you still don't see me, you don't mean to be cruel

but darling, this is so unkind. 

there's no other way to say it,

but I understand now, there's no happy ending.

black velvet dreams.

I'm not the same girl anymore.

You found me so naive

Maybe you sensed I could heal you

and Heaven knows I tried to

but I'm too sensitive to your energy

Black suffocating smog, 

absorbing your negativity

To you I was everybody,

...but really nobody

I felt lost in your presence

our dynamic was my escape 

I am so relieved the fog has lifted
That this painful dream has ended

I am thankful that you changed me.

I don't wander in your black velvet dreams

And now I know that I'm not really helpless.

soon.

everyone's catching on to you

to the selfish things you do

and soon you'll find out

that you're alone, no doubt

so if you find yourself wanting me

baby I'll be gone like the fog of sea

because when I died many times for you

you were apathetic, you just cause trouble

magician.

well aren't you just a clever magician?

weaving your way into my life

is this real or a delusion?

you make what's impossible real

but my heart, that I can't let you steal

you act so, consciously, so intentional 

but in the meantime you make me feel mental

without a word, your fingers trace my lips

and I can feel my pulse everywhere

you know your power, you run a dictatorship

but I'm a rebel, and I'm a flower

and though I bloom slowly, I've got staying power

little lunatic.

with so many females around you

I wonder what draws you to me?

you know I am not quiet, 

and I'm not so serene

I think I'm a little lunatic

raving about my feelings

and with the ebb and flow 

I break away, always daydreaming 

so you observe me 

in the midst of my mad laughter

and I suspiciously question you

"what exactly are you after?"

what a strange dynamic,

the push, the pull

the 2nd, 3rd, 4th chance

I think we both like this wacky dance