Kire

I'm still angry with you for the things you couldn't do.

equal plane

you didn't know the effect you could have

the way the words leave your lips

so free, too loose

when I felt guarded, I didn't know why

but you're too much trouble to get into

I've lived this way, no turning back to that

hold on to your naive aspirations

for her to flip the switch,

to be who you need her to

crazy doesn't go away,

& women like me won't stay

when you can't exist on an equal plane

2015.

I was so ready to see 2015 arrive. I don't actually follow the Gregorian calendar. I do, only because I have to for work and normal society-type scheduling. I use the solstices and equinoxes as the major turning points of seasons because that's nature's way & nature, to me, is the master healer, teacher & giver. So, for me, the new year began somewhere around December 21, 2014 (Winter Solstice in the hemisphere where I live).

Last year was very much an emotional roller coaster, hectic, busy, challenging and a lot changed for me. I met a man in the beginning of the year who I fell in love with, in the Spring I joined a band, one of my best friends passed away and I changed jobs, the summer was more relaxed, but I was dealing with all the transitions which the Spring brought. In the Fall I moved into my new apartment and had a new sense of stability & confidence. Winter, so far, has been very busy and has involved some hard decisions about the relationships in my life, but overall I feel like the trials I faced last year have given me a much deeper perspective of who I am, what I want and what I don't want and I have focus on where I would like to see myself go in the next several years.

Creatively, writing & vocally, I have been able to really push myself to new heights. I am excited about the projects I have going with the band I'm in & my free writing here on this blog has given me an amazing emotional outlet.

I drop on and off the radar, which I think is frustrating to my readers & followers. I can say that it is frustrating to me also. I am thankful for the ability to weave myself in & out of my creative life, personal life & professional life. I am confident that I am getting better at balancing all aspects of my life every day.

I just wanted to write to a small update & to reflect. I hope this year brings you all the happiness you've desired.

behind the scenes.

drowning in your own bullshit,

you know the lies you weave

& all the ways you try to trick me,

to manipulate me behind the scenes

there was one before you,

it took me time but I learned his cards

so your game is old hat you see?

you cannot begin to mind fuck me, 

you really wouldn't even know how