2015.

I was so ready to see 2015 arrive. I don't actually follow the Gregorian calendar. I do, only because I have to for work and normal society-type scheduling. I use the solstices and equinoxes as the major turning points of seasons because that's nature's way & nature, to me, is the master healer, teacher & giver. So, for me, the new year began somewhere around December 21, 2014 (Winter Solstice in the hemisphere where I live).

Last year was very much an emotional roller coaster, hectic, busy, challenging and a lot changed for me. I met a man in the beginning of the year who I fell in love with, in the Spring I joined a band, one of my best friends passed away and I changed jobs, the summer was more relaxed, but I was dealing with all the transitions which the Spring brought. In the Fall I moved into my new apartment and had a new sense of stability & confidence. Winter, so far, has been very busy and has involved some hard decisions about the relationships in my life, but overall I feel like the trials I faced last year have given me a much deeper perspective of who I am, what I want and what I don't want and I have focus on where I would like to see myself go in the next several years.

Creatively, writing & vocally, I have been able to really push myself to new heights. I am excited about the projects I have going with the band I'm in & my free writing here on this blog has given me an amazing emotional outlet.

I drop on and off the radar, which I think is frustrating to my readers & followers. I can say that it is frustrating to me also. I am thankful for the ability to weave myself in & out of my creative life, personal life & professional life. I am confident that I am getting better at balancing all aspects of my life every day.

I just wanted to write to a small update & to reflect. I hope this year brings you all the happiness you've desired.

behind the scenes.

drowning in your own bullshit,

you know the lies you weave

& all the ways you try to trick me,

to manipulate me behind the scenes

there was one before you,

it took me time but I learned his cards

so your game is old hat you see?

you cannot begin to mind fuck me, 

you really wouldn't even know how