the mental struggle

How do I even begin to verbalize these feelings I cannot describe?
I'm fatally drawn to you, a deep connection like you were a love in my past life.
Ripped away much too soon but
Intuitively I feel the negative karma between you and me.
There's a block, a wall, a stop keeping me from understanding your complexity.
This burdens me, such a struggle for me
I am defeated each time you walk away seemingly care free
I don't think you need me.
You project your best onto me but tell me,
Do I burden your day like a heavy ball and chain?
This is magnetic, electric - intriguing, too intense to dismiss
your presence tortures me, the way you look through me, past me, beyond me
What is it that you see there?
I don't know how you perceive me
I take on the pain, trying to settle the score
Pull your cards, play that ace babe
Am I prepared to be the woman you replace?
Experiencing mental highs and spiritual lows, wondering where this connection may die...
No one knows.
I look up to you idealistically but you I'm beginning to see
You're not looking after me.

crystal therapy

When I was 16, I picked up my first gemstone at a local festival a neighboring town hosts each year called "The Riley Festival". Booths display primitive decorations, children's toys, handmade crafts and gifts, clothing, food and other various knick knacks. 

I had competed in the Riley Festival pageant that year and was serving a role on the court, with a three other girls, one of who bore a beautifully crafted silver locket ring on her hand. We were at the parade of flowers event, where children from local elementary schools come to bring the royal court flowers to be placed on the monument of James Whitcomb Riley.

I complimented her ring and asked her where she got it, she replied saying she had gotten it from a booth on the West end of the festival and I asked her to take me there later. She did and I bought my own silver locket ring for $50. I didn't know at the time that the stone inside the ring was a moonstone and much less understood the metaphysical properties of the ring or how much I would later come to love and identify myself with this stone.

Here is my enchanting ring:

Since then, my collection has grown vast. I can't recall exactly who told me the stone I had was a moonstone, but I believe it was a friend who is in the jewelry making business. She made me a moonstone bracelet and I was later gifted a few moonstone rings by a college boyfriend and have purchased for myself two moonstone pendants and most recently a moonstone necklace that bears five of those opalescent stones.

Moonstone is metaphysically known for the following: 
brings good fortune
assists in fortune telling
enhances intuition
promotes inspiration
brings success in love as well as business matters
offers protection at land and sea

Moonstone also opens the heart to nurturing qualities as well as assisting in the acceptance of love. It is an excellent crystal for a first or new love, and is a comforting talisman if love must be kept a secret. It was also believed to be able to reunite loved ones who had parted in anger.

~Sat Nam

What have I been up to lately? Update!

It is officially FALL! My favorite season of the year is finally here! I have already indulged in apple cider, salted caramel mocha from Starbucks, hot chocolate and hot chai tea ^_^

I have been wearing my black military boots, my chic brown, suede ankle boots and I am ready to wear my scarves too (but it hasn't been chilly enough for that, yet.)

With the cooler weather comes the coughing, sneezing, etc so I have already made an ER visit with Nicolas. He's okay. We were sent home with a nebulizer, albuterol and I learned just how brave my little man is! The hospital staff all gushed over him, saying how handsome and well behaved he was. He had a steroid injection of decadron (spelling?) & didn't even cry ;) That's my boy! He makes his momma proud every. single. day.

This past Sunday I ventured off with my parents and Nico to Morristown for a home style lunch at the Bluebird cafe & then we went to Metamora for the "Canal days" festival. Metamora visits are so nostalgic for me. Despite the rain, we enjoyed ourselves. I have to say I have felt disappointed in some of the vendors at my favorite festivals. A lot of them are flea market junk instead of hand made goods & it's frustrating. I want to see things people have put their talents and passions into creating! My mom pointed out a metaphysical shop so we ventured in. I noticed a trendy, young woman who was intrigued with moonstone, my personal favorite and I enjoyed watching her admire the pendant before deciding to purchase it along with a moonstone ring. I am guessing she was college age, probably not much younger than me, but I felt a bond with her because I could feel the vibrations in her voice, she felt the same attraction to this enchanting stone as me. I will write more on moonstone in another entry some time. As for me, I parted with blue lace agate, malachite, moonstone and bloodstone, all of which are new stones for me except, of course, moonstone! I also came away with a labradorite ring.

Labradorite is a "sister" stone to moonstone. I first learned of this stone a few months back when I ventured to a local metaphysical shop here in Indy, "The Magick Candle". The owner showed me two necklaces, a labradorite necklace and a moonstone necklace. I parted that day with the moonstone necklace (pictured below) *~

I have picked up a new craft. Needle felting! I discovered this because of some adorable, little animals I saw on Pinterest and when I consulted YouTube for tutorials, I realized it wasn't difficult at all :) I needle felted a little owl, little frog and "Luna" from my favorite childhood show, Sailor Moon. I am DIYing the gifts I give for Christmas this year & needle felting is a great start.

Speaking of DIYing for Christmas, I have really put some thought into this. I want to give gifts that I put effort and love into, not something I just picked up at the store. Plus, I am hoping these gifts will be more meaningful to my cherished ones who receive them. Gifts began home made anyways so I am just embracing the original form of gift giving :) Homemade potpourris, candies, baked goods, needle felted critters, etc will all be wrapped up this year. I am also looking forward to year #2 with the Elf on the Shelf! (Another topic I will post on in the future!)

And finally, I had the privilege of being my best friend's maid of honor at her vintage themed wedding this past Saturday! We all got beautified with our retro hair and makeup & definitely enjoyed that part!

She is officially a Mrs. *~ I am so happy for her, the ceremony and celebration after were so beautiful and I am glad she was able to fulfill her dream wedding!

Love you Ash!!

Have a great, Autumn day everyone! xo