irresolution

laying in bed, reviewing our evening

you're on my mind while I stare at the ceiling

where I jumped before, I linger hesitantly now

wanting to let you in, but unsure how

maybe you recognize this irresolution in my eyes

the pool of emotion in them, I'm unable to disguise

when you hold me, I find myself wanting more of you

but my hands dare not move, I can't let you see inside

you see deception is what I had been handed

after handing over my heart, his name upon it branded

but he liked to squeeze it a little too tightly

and he liked the blood stains although I was frightened 

smiling at me in the most unsettling way

convincing me that no others would take me 

mocking me when I left him,

"no one you want will stay"

his words linger in my thoughts now

and even though you're here somehow

I doubt your very presence

your impending exit, sadly I expect this